Saturday, August 22, 2009

Foods That Make You Feel Happy

Foods That Make You Feel Happy

Is weather getting you down - some easy changes to your diet will soon have you feeling tip top.

Hippocrates was right when he said that you are what you eat, but there was something he left out - the food that you eat also affects the way that you feel.

So what can you do to boost your mood, to make you feel up when your brain says you're feeling down, to give you more energy when your body says it just can't cope, or to make you feel more beautiful when the mirror says you've got spots and are having a seriously bad hair day?
Are you feeling depressed?

SAD (seasonal affective disorder) clicks in for many at the end of October, when the clocks go back, but for those who suffer for the entire winter, there are several essential foods that you need to be eating. They include dark-green leafy vegetables for folic acid; shellfish, pumpkin seeds and oysters for their high zinc content - zinc deficiency is the most common cause of exhaustion and depression; liver (except for pregnant women) and other red meats for iron and vitamin B12 to prevent anaemia; and porridge, muesli, brown rice and wholewheat cereals such as Shredded Wheat and Weetabix for other B vitamins - which are often known as the nerve protectors.

You also need to get out into the sunshine whenever you can. Apart from making you feel better (and giving you some exercise), the sun will help your body absorb vitamin D, which is essential, particularly for women, to prevent osteoporosis.
Do you have no energy?

Well, it's not surprising, when the weather is so lousy. Dress up warmly and get out there and do something. It might seem like a paradox, but taking some exercise does, in fact, increase your energy levels.

Spicy foods, particularly ones containing chilli, will give you that extra boost you need to brave the wide outdoors. However the most important thing is to eat dishes that offer a balanced mixture of complex carbohydrates, such as pasta, for quick-release energy, and protein from cheese, eggs, poultry and meat, which provide an energy store that will see you through the day.
Does your skin look awful?

It would do if you've spent the last five months in centrally heated houses and offices. Our bodies are made up of around 90 per cent water, so it's not surprising that when we deprive it of this essential ingredient we start to look a bit crumbly.

What you need is a good detoxing regime: no processed foods, no salt, no preservatives, no flavourings and no colourings. Watercress soup is an ideal detox dish. In addition, choose any relevant supplements from those listed.
Are you putting on weight?

It is tempting to pretend that you're a hedgehog and go to ground for the winter, but summer isn't that far away, and you may be in your swimsuit sooner than you think.

First, you need to get out there and be a bit more active. But following these healthy eating plans will also help you lose the pounds:
Day 1

Breakfast Half a large melon
Lunch Vegetable soup and a vegetable salad with brown rice
Dinner Cooked cauliflower sprinkled with cheese and browned under the grill. A baked potato
Day 2

Breakfast Porridge (not instant). One slice of wholemeal toast with a smear of unsalted butter.
Lunch Salad of shredded white cabbage, orange juice, dried apricots, crushed walnuts and a dressing of live yoghurt and a little runny honey.
Dinner Grilled salmon steaks with a coulis of stewed gooseberries, boiled new potatoes and steamed veg.

Michael's book 'Good Mood Food' is published by Cassell at £10.99.

To beat depression

* St John's wort is the best natural antidepressant.
* The Swiss herbal tonic Bio-Strath Elixir is great for mind and body.
* Valerian, hops or passiflora will help you to get a good night's sleep.

To keep your energy up

* Co-enzyme Q10 aids efficient conversion of food into energy.
* Ortis ginseng will give you a quick energy lift.
* Rio Trading guarana is an amazing herb for sustained energy release.

To fight bad skin

* Evening primrose oil is very effective for hormone-related skin trouble.
* Vitamin E can come from good olive oil, nuts, seeds and avocados,
but a supplement helps, too.

To keep weight under control

* There aren't any pills that will control your weight. The only sensible way to lose weight is to cut down gradually on the amount of food you eat and be more physically active. If you are restricting your diet, it makes sense to take a multi-vitamin and mineral supplement.

Before taking any supplement, consult a pharmacist or doctor.

* Excerpt and based on article from

Recipe of The Day :

Check out Happycow

Amaranth Banana Flapjacks (Vegan)


1 cup amaranth flour
1 tablespoon Ener-G egg replacer
1/2 teaspoon guar gum
1/4 cup water
1 banana

Please send in a photo!

Mix flour, egg replacer, and guar gum into dough. Preheat non-stick skillet, and pour mixture into pancake sizes onto hot skillet. Add banana slices so that they still sink into the pancakes partly with top side on the surface. Turn pancakes when ready. Banana slices should come in contact with the skillet. Plate pancakes with banana slices facing up. Serve immediately.

Serving size: 4

Prep time: 15 minutes

30 Day Fast - Day 6 - Saturday Night Fever

30 Day Fast - Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.

Saturday August 23, 2009

(Attention Word Nazis - These blog post are done half conscience at midnight - fast and unedited to keep with the raw and pure truth of the intention of project...If the mosaic stream of conscientiousness and grammar offense you too bad...LOL)

Saturday Night Fever

I have Saturday Night Fever and I am so excited that I just can't hide it I'm about to lose control and I think I like ... I am rested and on the move hungry like the wolf. I think I have pushed through to the other side - I can see clearly now that the rain is gone - I can see all obstacles in my way. I no longer think that it's the end of the world and I feel fine. I thinking I am getting to the heart of the matter within the rhythm of the night. I am standing in the place where I live and will go one step beyond until September. Which is a week away there is a whole new world it will be my oyster.

With rebel yell I stand tall like one tin soldier with a heart of gold and an eye of the tiger accepting that life and love is a battlefield. And I will be victorious.

I am so happy I gonna do the neutron dance. I better get my behind in line. I am open to whatever the night has to offer. But for now tonight I dance twist and shout. I will not worry and be happy I am on the road again with the guidance from the spirit in the sky. I feel and know now that everything is going to be alright.

Food that Makes us Feel Happy

30 Day Fast - Day 5 - I am so Hungry My Hair Hurts

Friday August 21th, 2009

30 Day Fast - Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.

Day 5 – Friday August 21th , 2009

(Attention Word Nazis - These blog post are done half conscience at midnight - fast and unedited to keep with the raw and pure truth of the intention of project...If the mosaic stream of conscientiousness and grammar offense you too bad...LOL)

I am so hungry my hair hurts.

I'm awake, dressed and not drooling. What more do you want. It's Friday and Day 5. I've had 3hrs of Sleep and I'm a little cranky. I fell like Stewie from Family Guy. I'm bent on world domination and disappointed and disgusted by humanities inability to seemingly grasp simple logic and or concepts like :

What goes up must come down.

What goes in should come out.

And the best time to shopping for shoes is in the afternoon.

My alarm goes off and despite this pattern I've adopted.
I'm awake and up at at'em.

I want to watch Regis and Kelly cause a friend of a Friend of a friend is guest hosting. (Very Cool)

I watched it and that she did a respectable job. But the sound byte of the show came Renee Zelweger when ask what part of Vancouver she like the most.

She said very enthusiastically. "Hastings" Hilarious

I fire up the old Laptop open up a few windows and proceed to get on with my day seamlessly switching between work task and fun task. The line is blurred I hope, but I am not completely in my right mind. Am I really any day. LOL

Remember I had maybe 3 hrs sleep again.

Sleep Depreviation is very dangerous and psychological scaring.

My psyche was playing games with me this morning.
I was very sensitive.
I was feeling a sense of loneliness, loss, and not being centered.
It was almost like I was phasing in and outlike I was daydreaming.
I really don't know what to make of that. It has happened a few times.

I combatted my mood demons with some positive affirmations a few jumping jacks to get the blood pumping and vitamins. I popped some Ginko and B12 and Ginseng.

And in 35-40 minutes I was much happier and focused.

I again this morning was suffering from writers block. Couldn't for the life of me why. You always know. You just have to ask the right question. In the right way.
So I did and got the answer.

I wasn't be true to me to you and to the intention of this exercise. I got caught in the fairy tale what if expectation. I was writing for the "reader" instead of writing my truth and writing for me.

Again when I am in my right mind I don't have any delusion that any one is really reading this or cares. I am not trying to be a defeatist just being realistic.

I've got some nice encouraging comments - But I am not not going to blow them out of proportion. LOL

It's 1 pm now and after a busy and mentally taxing morning...I am exhausted, lightheaded and slightly dazed. Man this some trip and my body begins to shut down. It is screaming for a nap. I agree wholeheartedly.

My body sinks into my bed, and my mind is fighting and drifting in and out sleep state. I reawaken 1hr 30 minutes later...

It is 2:3opm I rush out of the a few block pick up mail at my biz p.o box and head down the hill. I have a 3:30pm Coffee meet up with a couple of Colleagues.

But First I stop and Art Central say a quick hi to my friend Luba and buy a new Courier Portfolio.

I Run to the bank.

But catch my buddy Jim at his store ..and tells me the good news that he is accepted as a Firefighter Candidate.That is awesome. He quite an amazing man. Married 2 kids. Owns 2 Clothing Stores. Accomplished Musician. And now soon to be Firefighter. Quite Inspirational actually. just thinking about it makes me smile.

It get to my coffee only a few minutes late. it is a very civil conversation with "S" & "Fr" save a few off the collar comments... surprising being that number one topics they seem to want to talk about all the time is sex - religion and bitching and praising her Husband to me and her best guy friend "Fr"!

Its 4:30 an they have to go they are setting up a wedding. "S" so excited.

I head off to The District to see if anyone's there it is a casual friday after work meet and greet. To my delight there is a few oldies but goodies. Some of them I haven't seen in month. We talk about music , and movies and then vocabulary and then techniques to "wedding crash" or "gatecrash". I am exhausted again.

And I figured out why. I haven't eaten all day. Duh.

Its almost sunset. I have several plans. That I could enact.

A Movie - District 9 or Inglorious Besterds

Ex's Dance Music Going Away Party

International Fireworks Festival

Live Music Bar Hop

After a few failed calls. confusion by text. The inability and just the annoyance of a good bud "Ar" to actually ever talk on the phone to make plans, instead of Text. Is very frustrating.

I was invited to another one of my ex's "H" going away party..But I decided that wouldn't be good Idea.

On my way home. I decide to get some Korean Food in Lower China Town. Ginger Spice Squid on Rice with Bean Salad and Kimchi.

After Eating I didn't feel going home yet. Some I go to The Aubry Saloon. The preeminent Theater Bar in the City probably in the country. Grab a Mint Tea ..some Corn Chips and attempt to write. I kept getting interrupted by phone calls.
Trying to get me to go out to Karaoke. I left there and came come. Have been writing ever since. I have reached my last paragraph. Good Day.

Recipe of The Day :

Ika Shoga-yaki is simple but is a very popular dish in Japanese cuisine. Ika means squid, shoga means ginger and yaki means grill or fry. This recipe was given to me by a Japanese friend. I really enjoy squid and this makes a quick dinner or entree. 15 minutes marinating time is included in cooking time. An Australian tablespoon is 20 mls/one Australian tablespoon is 4 US/UK teaspoons)


* 500 g squid, thinly sliced (squid cubes)
* 2 tablespoons ginger, freshly grated
* 3 tablespoons soy sauce
* 2 tablespoons mirin
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil


Combine ginger, soy sauce and mirin in a large bowl.

Add thinly sliced squid into the bowl and mix until all the squid is
covered with the sauce. Allow squid to marinade for about 15 minutes.

After 15 minutes, heat wok or skillet (pan) at high heat, then add oil.

Remove squid from bowl (make sure any juices/marinate are left in the bowl). Reserve any marinate. Add squid into the hot pan.

Stir-fry squid quickly in the pan and cook until it changes colour (about 7 minutes). Work quickly as overcooked squid will become rubbery so don't over cook.

Pour marinate into the pan and stir quickly. (Marinated meat burns easily so it's important to work quickly).

Serve with steam rice and green vegetables.


30 Day Fast - Day 4 - pt 2 Battle Of The Mind & Stomach

30 Day Fast - Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.

(Attention Word Nazis - These blog post are done half conscience at midnight - fast and unedited to keep with the raw and pure truth of the intention of project...If the mosaic stream of conscientiousness and grammar offense you too bad...LOL)

I am annoyed how hard this is tonight and why I can't string a simple plain sentence together with a subtextual nuance to express my multi-layererd literary angst

It seems to have been a rough week for a lot of people.
People's emotional quotient is all over the map...Bio-Rhythms frantic. My mind reflects and recalls the the weeks lowlights.

Nathalie - Father is the hospital with some heart related abnormality.

Stacey - Dog was put down...and is still reeling from grief.

Kal - This ones a dozy and it happen all one day.

To say she got up on the wrong side of the bed - is sort of understatement.
She hit the floor with misfortune. Domestic Dilemmas , Confusion , Internal Family Politics, Time + Travel Miscalculations , and puppies.

It all started with her Mother. Doesn't always, seem to start with your Mother.
It had something to to with a combination of Child Rearing and then derogatory comments against her personal style. She has a couple of Tats and a lip piercing.

Then later having a communication misunderstanding with her hubby. Which lead to not focusing on the new puppy who took it upon himself against restrictions to marked out his territory by raining drown on Her husband Lap Top which was on Kal Mothers Bed ! Which in turn caused friction and issues with her Mother again.

Poor Girl. And to top it off is contemplating career opportunities, that could drastically change the dynamic of her family and friends perspective.(Career Advancement and Notoriety) vs Status Quo and Extended Family Unity !

Kal finally makes into town behind schedule drops her family off at her "Sister" (BFF) And heads over my way...She phones me twice once to say that she is on her way and once to ask direction. I find that last call odd , cause she used to live here.

17 minutes later I hear a tap at my window...I look out and there is she sheepishly smiling..asking what number am I again. I almost didn't recognized her she lost weight and cut her hair,it was restyled in a sort of preppy cut which is so cute.

I buzz her in. I open the door and gives me a huge mini bearhug for a minute smiles and races off to the washroom. Comes out and laughs and gives me another hug.

And then ask's me as she always does "tell me a story I love your stories.." This is a woman who has a degree in English and a minor in Journalism and writes several different well viewed properties. She Loves my stories....( I've just learnt to accept it and say thank you)

We are talking a mile a minute catching up on all the gossip here and there. I catch her in transition and jokingly remind her that I thought dinner was involved with date. Throw the shoes on and head up the street to on of my favorite Neighborhood Mom & Pop Restaurants.

She is on a vegetarian diet at the moment so to keep with the theme we go veggie extreme. I get a Curried Vegetable soup. Kal gets Stir Fried Tofu & Veggies on Steam Rice.

The food comes it is a beautiful sight to see, the presentation impressive.

A mixture of fresh organic veggie in a rainbow array of color. I was always taught the more vibrant the color of Fruit or Veggie the better it for you.

IE. White Potato Vs Sweet Potato.

We finish our food...and head out the door. I suggest a little stroll to digest our food. Kal agrees and off we go Wolfs Bluff which is 7 blocks away. It's a nice view it over looks the city and can see the foothills.

It was doubley delightful because the Sunset was quite spectacular that night. Oranges , Reds with a variety of dark blues very cool. It is always kinda hit and miss here. We sit there in silence for a few minutes and walk back to my place.

We embrace one more time. Say our meet agains. And she drives off into the night.

Until Next Time lets hope its not 7 months again.

I head home and give myself the illusion of getting to go to bed. Then stay up for 5 hrs writing and surfing and listening French Jazz.

Recipe Of The Day :

Veggie Curry Soup:

* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 1 onion, coarsely chopped
* 2 shallots, thinly sliced
* 2 cloves garlic, chopped
* 2 inch piece fresh ginger root, thinly sliced
* 1 stalk lemon grass, cut into 2 inch pieces
* 4 tablespoons curry powder
* 1 green bell pepper, coarsely chopped
* 2 carrots, peeled and diagonally sliced
* 8 mushrooms, sliced
* 1 pound fried tofu, cut into bite-size pieces
* 4 cups vegetable broth
* 4 cups water
* 2 tablespoons vegetarian fish sauce (optional)
* 2 teaspoons red pepper flakes
* 1 bay leaf
* 2 kaffir lime leaves
* 8 small potatoes, quartered
* 1 (14 ounce) can coconut milk
* 2 cups fresh bean sprouts, for garnish
* 8 sprigs fresh chopped cilantro, for garnish

* add to recipe box Add to Recipe Box
My folders:
* add to shopping list Add to Shopping List
* Customize Recipe
* add a personal note Add a Personal Note


1. Heat oil in a large stock pot over medium heat. Saute onion and shallots until soft and translucent. Stir in garlic, ginger, lemon grass and curry powder. Cook for about 5 minutes, to release the flavors of the curry. Stir in green pepper, carrots, mushrooms and tofu. Pour in vegetable stock and water. Season with fish sauce and red pepper flakes. Bring to a boil, then stir in potatoes and coconut milk. When soup returns to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 40 to 60 minutes, or until potatoes are tender. Garnish each bowl with a pile of bean sprouts and cilantro.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

30 Day Fast - Day 4 - How Romantic Comedies Ruined Our Lives !! or I Blame it on the Moon !!

Thursday August 20th, 2009

30 Day Fast - Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.

Day 4 – Thursday August 20th , 2009

How Romantic Comedies Ruined Our Lives !!
or I Blame it on the Moon !!

(Attention Word Nazis - These blog post are done half conscience at midnight - fast and unedited to keep with the raw and pure truth of the intention of project...If the mosaic stream of conscientiousness and grammar offense you too bad...LOL)

“ What came first? The music or the
misery? People worry about kids
playing with guns and watching
violent videos, we're scared that
some sort of culture of violence is
taking them over...

But nobody worries about kids
listening to thousands -- literally
thousands -- of songs about broken
hearts and rejection and pain and
misery and loss.

Did I listen to pop music because I
was miserable, or was I miserable
because I listened to pop music?”

The Opening scene “ High Fidelity2000 Video Clip

The Crux of this Thesis could really mindscrew you if you let it. I know because for years - even though I consider my self fairly well adjusted, and an intelligent individual. Who considers them self a student of human behavior and interaction. Some how - has been socialized and lulled into this unrealistic “Pleasantville” mindset of fairy tale romance.

According to a few enterprising social scientists at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, romantic comedies can raise unrealistic romantic expectations among fans and may therefore set them up for personal failure and a lifetime of disappointment. Check out links in grey. Tv Report

I would consider myself a lay expert in the subject and have the DVD collection to prove it. LOL

I think it stems for me, from sort of reverse rebellion. I was raise as a government brat - by a single mother, who once was, a street kid / flower girl who turned her life around and became a very successful consultant.

The story goes that my father who was married to my mother at the time, went to work one day when I was 3 yrs old, and never came home again. I wouldn't recognize him, if he stood next me on a train. Strangely I've never had the urge to track him down.

I had very non-traditional upbringing it was a bit of a dichotomy very free and Liberal, mixed with spot washes of die hard Conservatism depending on subject or issue. It was the “ Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial” Model.

We traveled considerably. I sometime changed schools 2 or 3 times in year.

I was raised with a brother, and to this day - there still is unspoken and unanswered legitimacy to my relation to he or is he not a full blooded relative. I don't really care – I just want to know.

But my mother has avoided the subject since I can remember. Along that line. I didn't know I had a half sister till about 12 yrs ago.

So subconsciously I have craved a stereotypical traditional family and relationship. Which is very subjective and culturally ambiguous. I think that's the right word or idea, You're picking up what I laying down right...groovy !

So my soul has searched for love in all the wrong places. Until I realized there was a difference between a healthy + inter-dependent relationship and a dysfunctional co-dependent one. Which I must admit at times. I am still am sucked into. Old habits die hard. LOL. That almost sounds like a good title for an action romance. LOL. Is there such a genre ?

So after much navel gazing and really, really deep contemplation... sleep deprivation and study.
( I watched 6 meaningful Romantic Dramedies in a row ) and re – read sections of The Secret , Blink and Politics of Lust, (Which is a must read !!)

Plus examining the last 6 weeks of my love life - which has been pretty much a comedy of errors, I felt the Creator of All things leading me to get in touch with one my first and true spiritual love, and second to do a little over due internal cleaning of stale and toxic thought processes and relationships.

So on the cusp of a new moon. I threw caution and convention to the wind and embarked on this journey of self discovery.

So again I have weaved this circuitous mosaic stream of say.

Examine your own core beliefs and ask your self do they reflect a true healthy, realistic and attainable relationship model.

If not - join me and lets grow together.

High Fidelity – Pivotal pre-ending scene

When are you going back?

I don't know. Sometime. Later.
Listen, Rob, would you have sex
with me?


I want to feel something else than
this. It's either that or I go
home and put my hand in the fire.
Unless you want to stub cigarettes
out on my arm.

I've only got a couple left. I'm
saving them for later.

It'll have to be sex, then.

She pulls herself over him, staddling him in the passenger
seat and kissing his neck. She pauses and regards him from

Hello. It doesn't seem so long ago
that I looked at you from here.


I knew there was a reason I wore a
skirt today.

Laura reaches down and unzips his pants, as they keep kissing.

You know, with Ray...

Oh, Rob, we're not going to go
through that again.

No, no. It's not... are you still
on the pill?

Yes, of course. There's nothing to
worry about.

I didn't mean that. I mean... was
that all you used?

Laura looks at him, motionless, then begins to cry.

Look, we can do other things.

I lived with you. You were my
partner just a few weeks ago and
now you're worried I might kill
you, and you're entitled to worry.
Isn't that a terrible thing? Isn't
that sad?

She rolls off of him into her seat. They sit there in
silence, watching the rain run down the windshield.

10 Mainstream Realistic Romantic Comedies

1) Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004): Michel Gondry directs this beautiful film about a young couple (Jim Carrey and Kate winslet) who fall out of love and decide to erase the other from their memory. wonderfully shot and edited, this brilliant film leaves you guessing until the end.

2) Amelie (2001): This charming French film stars audrey tautou as amelie Poulin, a young Parisian waitress who falls for a boy and sends him a series of photographs
and riddles to make their first kiss the most romantic moment of her life.

3.Before Sunset (2004): in 1995's Before sunrise, Ethan Hawk is Jesse, an american who spends a day in Vienna with a Parisian named Celine (Julie delphy). nine years later they reunite in Paris and spend the day walking and talking, and nothing more. amazingly effective in its simplicity.

4. Wall-e (2008): It's almost sad that two animated robots can say more about love and romance than most real-life actors, but that's what Pixar man-ages with the amazing wall-e. destined to become an animation classic.

5. Once (2007): a dublin busker (Glen Hansard of the Frames) and a Czech immigrant (marketa iglova) meet on the street and soon start to make beautiful music together. little but flirtation happens, but it happens with such a gorgeous soundtrack that you're quickly swooned.

6. Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A young, uneducated boy from mumbai's slums appears on the indian version of who wants to Be a millionaire not to win money, but because he thinks the love of his life might be watching. a great movie alone or with a loved one.

7. Punch-Drunk Love (2002): Punch-drunk love finds an unlikely adam sandler playing Barry egan, a desperately lonely man prone to fits of rage. He finds the adorable lena leonard (emily watson)who somehow accepts him for who he is. P. t. anderson (there will Be Blood) directs.

8. Brokeback Mountain (2005): The most romantic movies are about the subtle gestures, the moments in between intimacy, and ang lee's Broke-back mountain captures them against a vibrant alberta landscape. Jake gyllenhaal and the late Heath ledger are amazing as ranch hands who fall in love.

9. The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005): Writer/director Judd Apatow could have easily taken the raunchy route with his tale of a middle-aged virgin looking to "deflower," but instead, this is a sweet, funny and insightful film. steve Carell is likable as always, and Catherine Keener plays his perfect match.

10. Love, Actually (2003): A predominantly British cast carries this richard Curtis film through a series of different stories showing the different aspects of love. despite the presence of both Hugh grant and Colin Firth, it's not as twee as you'd think.

Healthy Break Up Food

Comforting Main Courses

* Crisp Oven-"Fried" Chicken
* Buffalo Meat Loaf
* Bean Burrito Casserole
* Lighter Than Mom's Tuna-Noodle Casserole

Satisfying Sides

* Mac 'n' Cheese
* Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes with Caramelized Shallots
* Sweet Potato Fries with Garlic and Herbs
* Lima Bean, Potato, and Garlic Purée with Potato Crisps
* Italian Green Beans and Potatoes
* Salt and Pepper Oven Fries

Dreamy Desserts

* Chocolate-Banana Cake with Walnuts
* Oatmeal Chocolate-Chip (and Bean!) Cookies
* Apple Brown Betty
* Rice Pudding with Dried Cherries and Vanilla

30 Day Fast - Day 3 - You Cant Do That

Day 3 - Wednesday August 19th, 2009 – 1:03 am (Thurs)

30 Day Fast ...Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.


(Attention Word Nazis - These blog post are written at midnight by a half conscience dyslexic - bar stool prophet foodie and are done fast and unedited to keep with the raw and pure truth of the intention of project...If the mosaic stream of conscientiousness and grammar offense you too bad...LOL )

It's 1:12 am and just walked in the door. It's amazing how one word or one phone call can totally change our perspective or our night. I am reflecting on the day and trying to formulate the method in relaying my daily self journey of discovery to the mini masses. I really don't have the delusion that anyone really is reading this save a few sweet and encouraging souls. Thanks by the way you know who you are !!

My day was like I almost lived it in reverse. It is 1:25 am I am awake when I should be sleeping. I am writing instead of dreaming. I am sitting here at my kitchen table eating dried cranberries and drinking cranberry juice out of a home made ceramic mug that I crafted several yrs back. I love this mug it turned out superbad and the underglaze paint is abstract and unique – like me.

I used to work part- time in retail ceramics ….you know the paint your own concept. My speciality was Corporate Parties and Bridal Showers they loved me...What's not to Love...Seriously !

I was up early today despite the fact that I stayed up late last night... and suffered and slaved over my keyboard so you could get a mere glimpse into the psyche of this dyslexic philosophical perfectionist procrastinator. Now that a mouthful ...try saying that 3 times fast. I can't believe you tried. LOL

I worked from home today mostly …If I were brutally honest I worked in my PJ's snuggled up in my bed with my Computer on my lap Cell beside and Ipod on low cranking out some funky tunes.Reading and responding to Email,GoogleChat,
FacebookChat, Twitter - that were surprisingly all business oriented.

Then I got distracted as I always do and followed the mad hatter down the rabbit hole and got lost in a virtual worm hole. Which only seem like minutes and when I space jumped back to reality about 4 hours had went by. The Strange thing is I moved seamlessly between both dimension without knowing or spacelag.

You see for that is the danger of working from home for me.
It too easy to have distractions.

I was pretty wound up - and decided to draw a hot bath and chill for a few. Wouldn't you know I just started soaking when my phone goes off. I am startled. I am compelled to answer it. I jump up and get it almost trip out of the tub and get up to fast and gets dizzy I answer the phone and the person keeps say “hello hello” last thing I remember I passed out momentarily luckily I was sitting down.

I flash into an altered state I see a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes and muted faces all mumbling something. I don't know if they are talking to me or what? I don't understand. I am starting to suffer from sensory overload. Your asking your self what this kid on ( I don't do Drugs or Alcohol) I snap out of it when the phone rings again. I answer it.

My friend “S”(from yesterday post..the lady who thinks everyone is lying to her.)

She yells “ Are you ok ..what the hell is going on over there” I told that I fainted. She ask if I am ok...then a few moments later proceeds to laugh hysterically. The laughter is contagious and I startle to chuckle it was odd and kinda funny situation. If you think about it. A little disconcerted I was.
"s" jokingly says “ So you have an interesting day already haven't you”

Then the conversation becomes very cool and too the point.
She ask me “Is the concept we have been discussing over the past week - that I am supposed to get is it Love...” I am shocked and can't believe what I am hearing .I ask her to repeat herself...I internally almost blew a gasket of excitement - has she figure it out ...has she come to the realization that she has been lied too and she has lied too herself all these years. Sadly no...sorry gang.

Dear sweet “S” still lost in confusion - The Veil of Lies still impeding her vision of the Truth.

I ask her if I could talk to her later since technically I was naked and cold. That's what I told her. It was true , but really I just needed a break this issue is too emotionally draining for me. I don't want to talk about anymore.

Have I opened a pandoras box. It seems that there is cosmic riff and every one is searching for truth and meaning and so intense about discussing Love and Relationships.

As the tagline for X-files state The truth is out there you just find it ! I would say you have to see what is in front of you. Which is much harder said than done at times.

So I drain the tub and tidy up the Bathroom and head back into the Bedroom.

I got dressed and started to clean up when a text comes in from my friend “Kr” and “ShG” they just read my blog and twitter feed and curious as to the real reason behind my 30 Day Fast. I Proceed to tell them simultaneously on Twitter.

It's all about Reformatting and Rebooting my mind and soul from the toxic relationships and patterns that I have held on to recently and since I currently not in relationship. The full moon is Thursday. So the timing is perfect. After several sarcastic and teasing correspondence they offered there support and caring and said they were proud of me and wished me well.

I am exhausted again and decide to have a nap - it is another day of not accomplishing my list of to do around the house. I have to tomorrow I have guest coming over for Dinner. I am good under pressure If I put my mind to I have in down in 1 ½ hr.

Ok we went through the long laborious milk run of conscientious to get to the beginning which actually is the end today ...cause I say so. Don't argue.

Its 9:05 pm and my Sister Girlfriend “Is” (soul sister ) calls me up and invites me out for dinner and a walk....she says 5 minutes but in her world 5 minutes means 20 – 40 I wait patiently for her to show up. “Is” would be late for her own funeral ...LOL

We met up and head off to a little trendy neighborhood across the bridge for downtown...and stop off at this little mom and pop mexican / pizza joint...simple homemade fare but great.

Order our food sit out on the small patio and take in the beautiful night...Jump in the car and decided to go midtown mile and walk and do a night sightseeing.

We park and head off for a quick stroll down the mile - the sights and sounds are vibrant and amusing , ugly and annoying and some just dang peculiar.

We stop in Steep a trendy organic Teahouse and peruse through there vast assortment of teas. “Is” picks up some Rooibos. Rooibos ( chai , ginger or cinnamon) is my favorite.

We head back to the when we see a young woman casually dressed pushing a shopping cart down the sidewalk and every 15 seconds looking behind her. Just plain odd.

But the oddest was the man who ask us point blankly after seeing us make a comment on a t-shirt in a hemp store ...” do we know where he can get a couple of dime bags of weed”

“Is” and I head back to the car laughing but distressed at the same time. We're in the car when we remember that a friends of ours is having a Birthday music Jam Tonight. So excitedly we head to the Tropicana. You see I have worked in Music, Stage + Film for about 18 yrs and the majority of my friends are Musician and or Artist/Activist so I know everyone - they call the unofficial mayor. LOL

We pull up and literally before we even get out the car ...I recognize the singing and the distinctive guitar playing coming from within. They play Latin – Fusion and are simply are amazing fun and infectious entertainers they travel the world to rave reviews and when they are home they play small local pubs for free.

Tonight is no difference the who's who in that circle is in attendance from Grammy Award winners from Cuba , Chile,
to Entertainers from Dominican Republic, Miami , and Dancers and Musicians from Toronto, Montreal. All In town doing the Festival Circle.

In a transition between song “Is” and I are spotted to great joy...and are nodded and waved at whilst still playing.

The set break finally happens after an extended cover remix of Santana Oye Como Va... that brings the house into an ecstatic frenzy.

When things calm down we connect with friends and with many hugs and kisses on both cheeks and too many “It's beautiful too see you “ “Where you been” “ I missed you”...and “Tonight We Dance” seriously no joking 3 people said “ Tonight We Dance” and when the music started again we did about 45 minutes straight . Then said our good byes and headed home.

So here we are again another day done...another post finished and adventure to embrace. What a oddly wild and fantastic life I have sometimes. Lets see what today brings...

Just a word of thanks for the read and support. I would really appreciate your feed back please follow me here or at Twitter and comment if you desire.....Bless You

Recipe Of The Day

Cuban Beef Stew


* 2 tablespoons olive oil
* 1 onion, chopped
* 4 cloves garlic, minced
* 1 red bell pepper, chopped
* 1 1/2 pounds sirloin tips, cubed
* 2 bay leaves
* 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
* 1 teaspoon dried oregano
* 1/2 cup dry sherry
* 1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
* 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
* 1/4 cup pimento-stuffed green olives
* 1/4 cup raisins
* 2 tablespoons capers
* 4 potatoes, peeled and quartered
* salt and pepper to taste

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1. In a large saute pan, heat oil over medium heat. Cook onion and garlic in oil, stirring frequently, until transparent. Stir in cubed meat, and cook until browned. Stir in red bell pepper, bay leaf, cumin, and oregano; cook for 2 to 3 minutes.
2. Stir in sherry, tomato sauce, vinegar, olives, raisins, and capers. Pour in enough water to just cover meat. Bring to boil, reduce heat to low, and cover. Simmer until fork tender, about 1 1/2 hours. Add more water if the stew becomes too thick.
3. Stir potatoes into the stew. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook, covered, until potatoes are almost tender. Uncover, and cook until done.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

30 Day Fast .. DAY 2 - Spur Of The Moment

Day 2 - Tuesday August 18th, 2009 – 10:32 pm

30 Day Fast ...Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.


(Attention Word Nazis - These blog post are written at midnight by a half conscience dyslexic - bar stool prophet foodie and are done fast and unedited to keep with the raw and pure truth of the intention of project...If the mosaic stream of conscientiousness and grammar offense you too bad...LOL )

8:57 am I am awoken by the familiar self made ring tone of my cell phone I search for it. It seems to somehow ended up on the left hand side of my bed stuck inside my duvet and pillow so I fumble to activate the answer button and yell “one moment please” as I fish out my phone from it's nesting place.

On the other end is my friend “M” laughs and ask “ what was that all about..” “ you don't want to know...” Then asks what are you doing... I say “ I am flexible..have a few things planned - but flying by the seat of my pants...” I need to go do some errands want to hang out... “A” is at work till 3:30pm then were off to The Fringe Festival for a week. I ponder for a second – I was going to go the Human Rights forum this morning..but this spontaneous misadventure sounds fun.

We always have fun together... So I agree and we set a time to meet “M” will be at my place in an hour ...I hang up lay back down and lay there for 5 minutes ….and with all will power force myself up to get ready for the day.. I quickly scan my various social media accounts naked … then hop into the shower ..(I like the bath better ...but don't have the time.) Hop Out .

Towel off and lay down again for a quick 30 zzz's it is so comfortable my mind wanders into slumberland – a dreamscape half conscience. “I am floating a top of a busy market then above a beach with vibrant sand ...not just one color – rainbow exotic I would describe it an array of shades and tones Black White Red Violet. I land in a clearing and the wind stands me upright now my feet are touching the sand ...In front of me I see 3 small beams of light that seem to be chasing each other and they are weaving there countenance around me. I look down and 10 feet away a group of Turtles very systematically coming out of the water they stop in front of me look up smile and move on.”

I am snapped back into reality by the text alert on my phone I look at the message and the time and scream get dressed hurriedly brush teeth and head out the door just then “M” pulls up. I get in and were off.

Still reeling from that odd surreal, but not uncommon foray into the alternate reality. I center myself and - try to glean what nugget of truth I can extract from that allegory. We discuss the many interpretations and laugh and become silent...a powerful sense of peace washes over us ...and drive in silence for a 3 or 4 minutes we don't discuss what happened and go on with our day. After doing a little shopping for about 2 hours we end up at this Vietnamese Restaurant later this would become worst decision of the day.

After helping “M” with rigging a Bike Rack on the Trunk of the Car. I am at home killing time to my next Event at 5 pm Green Drinks and Ecocentric – Social minded group that meets once a month for fun, food and discussion.

After unpacking my contribution to the unnecessary mass consumption of goods that we all have been brainwashed to perpetuate. I momentarily feel ashamed and feel like a hypocrite. I forgive myself and ground myself by listening Delirium. I again am lulled into altered state. I think this quest this 30day fast - is playing havoc with my inners. I constantly daydream and struggle to replace pure thoughts with lustful ones... now let me tell you that is difficult... My mind is racing as we speak...I knew I had a high libido but for gawd sake...seriously control myself.

I'm back my mind can focus.

As I was saying ...what was I saying...

My mother had this adage if you can't remember what you were about to say it was probably a lie... Interesting... If we analyze what we really said and thought how much of it would be true and how much would be lies. We lie to others and sadly more to ourselves everyday, every hour and every minute. I need to stop doing this.... we need to stop doing this...STOP the world I wanna get off ...LOL this rollercoaster of emotional deceit.

I am progressively feeling ill it all started a few hrs back. I have a headache and my stomach cramps something fierce....Bastards I think it was lunch...I had Vietnamese …. I love Vietnamese... but we tried this new place Called “Quynh” and it was atrocious the service was inexistent the presentation un appetizing the temperature luke warm and the food taste odd. I think this may be from combination of a little old fashion Cross-Contamination. I have a few digestive related intolerances of them is Gluten – technically more Wheat but better safe than sorry.

I asked the server several time what was in it and how it was prepared....bastards.... so I was sick for 1 ½ hr had a quick nap and decided that although I wanted to go to Green Drinks was it in my best interest tonight...

I wasn't feeling well and my mind is slightly hazy at times...(I think I know how the characters in The Time Travelers Wife felt.)

The temptation was great and I may stumble cause there are few regulars that I kinda have a crush on. I know every one say sweet. OK snap out of it.

So I decided to stay home. My phone buzzes with a text alert...and I check it and realize that I missed 3 calls and 2 texts.

I look at the time stamp - I lost 2 hrs again and don't know where they went. Am I dreaming or is this the dream or am I dreaming that I am not dreaming ...whatever ...Where am I ...who am I ...LOL LOL I am delusional OK it 1:10 am in the morning and this funny to me sue me !!

So text back a message then my recent new colleague “S” calls she has been calling a lot lately hardcore since Saturday Night ….This is a delusionally happy sad story if there is such a thing. “S” has been severely negatively programmed from birth to think that she is not physically worthy or beautiful as a person. To to the fact that anytime anyone says that she is pretty, good looking or looks nice she goes into a tirade of actions and expletives that would make the Devil Blush.

She doesn't grasp the concept of Self Love. The is so imprinted into her psyche and emotional DNA that she completely self sabotage the most meaningful relationship in her life which the effects still haunt her today !!

She dated a man “Mc” off and on for 3 yrs (23 yrs ago) had a complete soul connection...and a state of complete trust … The Twitter version short and to the point. One night the night the consummated there relationship after several yrs - he said he loved and thought she was the most beautiful woman he knew....She cursed him out - went home pack a bag got on a voguer bus traveled for 18 hrs crying feeling betrayed asking her self over and over why was and is he lying to me, she never looked back ….

He tried for 5 yrs to track her down and reconcile ...she refused.....she got into alcohol and promiscuous sex... got pregnant is now married for 21 yrs with 3 kids and still the biggest fight she has with her husband is when he compliments her on her looks. And threatens divorce seriously if he doesn't stop. How sad is that.

OK I am done...I have made it through another day...What doesn't kill you make you stronger.

Its been 2 days and although I am muddled I am coming out the fog...slowly lets see how tomorrow progressives.

Day 3 ----here I come.

Big Hugs – Peace – Love – Acceptance- Knowledge – Growth – Wholeness


30 Day Fast ...Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.

Day 1 – Mon August 17th, 2009

30 Day Fast ...Reformat – Reboot and Rejuvenate in search of the truth about me.

(Attention Word Nazis - These blog post are written at midnight by a half conscience dyslexic - bar stool prophet foodie and are done fast and unedited to keep with the raw and pure truth of the intention of project...If the mosaic stream of conscientiousness and grammar offense you too bad...LOL )

Why Do we Lie To Ourselves :

Day 1 technically started Sunday Night. I was restless again. I seemed to have been restless and slightly unmotivated quite frequently lately. All I did last week save 36 hrs my days consisted of sleeping and cybersurfing. I was having an internal battle between mind and body. It didn't really help that it was rainy and grey mixed with a little brisk weather...

I digress getting back to the point I was restless so was deciding something to do trick my self into feeling productive so I decided maybe see a movie. Movies generally engaged and fire up my cerebral cortex and kicks start my imagination and passion and or zest for life ..or sometimes they can just lull me into a world escapism and virtual reality as defence mechanism.

The two movie choices were District 9 and The Time travellers wife..after little hmmm and haaa I head downtown … I am only 12 blocks from the Theatre . I realize that Sunday was the last night of Taste … a mini little food festival of restaurant and music at the open air community market park and retail entertainment district arrive at my destination early.

I go to the cinema and quickly check what times the movie shows start and I head out back to do a quick walk through the booths of food and too intermingle with the throngs of lost souls feeding there pie holes with some of the cities best food offering at 75 cents a tix …

To my surprise but not really I run into a colleague / slash friend/ sort romance interest....who is volunteering there as a EMT they do that often...I am asked how I am doing and we discuss life liberty and the pursuit of happiness..sort of...We were so deep in conversation that I lost track of time...and missed 37 minutes of my movie...oh well ...we part ways and I head up to check things out anyway. I get to the top of the stairs and some random guy hands me a ticket and says I cant use it ...So I take thank him and head off to the theatre I walk in on the last hour of GI Joe... despite it being little rah rah oversaturated cgi for me - actually a fun little movie.

The movie is over and the timing is perfect for the late show ...a twinge goes up my neck and I decided to go watch another movie despite the fact that I have to go home and sleep cause I have a convention speech to attend on Monday.....But the only thing starting at the time was 500 days of I watched and totally and thoroughly enjoyed and related to the movie....

That movie triggered my conscientious to that fact I was in a relationship like that...actually all my relationship to a certain extent were that....It was oddly painful and comforting the awareness....

I was inspired ...So I decided to go home a write..but my brain said if you go home you will fall a sleep movie or just randomly surf... So I decided to go to my local cybercafe give myself a deadline and go home get some rest and go to the conference forum in the morning.

I am sorry to say...I only did partially what I spoke of...I wasted 3 hrs in mindless stupor procrastinating writing instead surfing and updating my numerous social media accounts...

I went home .. defeated and deflated downloaded pictures off my phone set my alarm and checked twice...and meditated prayed and went to sleep. This was 5 Am

Monday 11 am – I awaken and refreshed look at my clock the alarm did not go off it was 11:05 am ...I shake my head and look again and several time pieces my cell phone my I touch and wall clock and swear to myself...feeling defeated that my mind and body betrayed me... I got up dressed and rushed out the door...I get to The Conference Theatre 15 minutes late and would miss the 1 and only hour of the Keynote speaker which is the main reason I wanted to go in the first place.

I resolve to the fact that it's not going to happened so I take a little stroll on the pedestrian mall and attend the afternoon Panel Discussion...Rush out of there and run 6 blocks to an organizing meeting for an event I am on the committee for...

It is now 5:30 I stop off next door to say a quick hi to some friends ...I ended up have this 3o min talk on food and social media and Foodbuzz,com new internet addiction. LOL Excuse myself and Head home when the movie theatre is calling me must go see Time Travellers Wife...So I fight a little but the Universe twist my rubber arm and I go see The movie and for free no less again 3 movies in two days for free odd...(I have an acquaintance who works for the company)

I watch the movie alone but in a packed theatre of mostly woman...and re-interate that the sexes are truly different and its a blooming miracle how any of us actually participate and engage in long term coupling....

BTW---- In response to my dear twitter friend @twochix 1 - I think I did pretty good for the first day...lots of temptation for opportunity and lustful thoughts...quite proud of myself...LOL

It is 1:17 am on Tuesday August 18....I have to do the same thing tomorrow wish me luck. :)